The Investigative Reports of Tom Toronado


Tom Toronado is an investigative reporter for the Rocky Mountain Oldsmobile club, he started writing his investigation reports around 1993. He investigated the challenges of our president and our members in trying to fix cars and home improvement projects in an interesting and humorous way.

We hope you enjoy reading some of the detailed information he has to offer. We are hoping to add more reports from the early days.

Hope you enjoy this segment!

 

Tech Tips from Tom

For those of you not familiar with my articles, let me take a moment to introduce myself. I am Tom Toronado, self-appointed Investigative Reporter for the Rocky Mountain Oldsmobile Club. For the past several years I offered a little advice, lent a few helpful tips, solved some major problems, raised a few eyebrows, embarrassed a couple of members and myself. I've managed to do all that and still had room for a laugh now and then. Trust me when I tell you I don't exaggerate, but if I could have made it sound any better than it was I certainly would have done so. We have had several Nationals meetings already and there is always a question brought up about those of you concerned about driving the old cars to this altitude. Let me offer some tips to make your trip more enjoyable and make you a little less anxious.

  1.  Are the fears your own or those of your significant other? TIP: If the concern comes from anyone else in your group, buy them a plane ticket. You will thank me later for this one.

  2.  Is your car ready for the 1,200-mile trip? (I pulled 1,200 miles out of the air, If you are traveling 500 miles or 2,500 miles you will be required to adjust the following formula, ask your kids to help you with this one). Tip: If your club were to caravan 50 miles from home for all the ice cream you could eat, at no cost to you, would you be comfortable taking your car? If so it's as ready as you will probably get it. If not, get to work. Formula 12 short trips x 100 miles each = 1,200 miles.

  3.  Is your club planning a shake down run closer to Denver's 2001 Nationals? TIP: If not; they are smart. If so; cancel it now before you hurt anyone's feelings. If you are confident enough to take a 100-mile shakedown run you're all set. If you actually take the 100-mile drive to see if everything works, trust me when I tell you, you'll be sorry. You'll make the 1,200-mile journey to Denver just fine and you will have a major break down 100 miles from home and it will ruin the entire trip for you. A classic car is like a rechargeable battery, if you get it used to going 100 miles and cooling off for a month, that's all you will ever get out of it. You have to start now getting it psyched up for a long journey with no rest until it's over.

  4. What if I have car trouble on the road? TIP: What if you have trouble now 2 blocks from home? Call the Auto Club. Sure they have them out here in the West/Midwest. It just takes them a few days to get to you. Hopefully you can coax the car into cell phone range. If you have trouble in the farm country there are a lot of repair facilities. They may not have seen an Oldsmobile before but they can weld  on an International Harvester part that will work just fine.

  5.  What about the altitude? TIP: We just have less air. It's you personally that will have the problem. Your nostrils will flare and your mouth will start to open wider and gasp. You know you're getting closer to Denver. If you had flown like your other half it would be a sudden shock instead of having Kansas or Utah to prepare for it. Your car will just run a little richer which actually cools the cylinder walls. Our cars suffer when we go to lower altitude because they are too lean and overheat. If you are bringing an early 80's GM computerized car you will have to stop every few feet of elevation change and shut the engine off to reset the MAP Sensor.

  6. Is there a chance our caravan will be attacked by Indians? Tip: Never circle the cars, it's a sign of aggression. Like you intend to stay forever on their land. To be politically correct I don't think I can even tell you that. Now I must apologize to the Indians. I only mention it because I know someone out there is concerned.

  7. What about overheating on those long grueling interstates? GOOD POINT! Tip: Carry water. There is water along those grueling interstates  but you have to dig a long ways for it. The water will cool you off very well. It will also work for the car. Remember to start with a 50/50 mix of antifreeze and water. In some areas you may not have to use antifreeze but it will also cool better than straight water. If you are overheating you can pour some over the radiator while it is running and it will cool itself. Never remove the cap when it is overheated. You probably won't thank me for that one later, but if you try it we will all be able to recognize you as the lobster man. If you don't happen to have water, many other things will work (GAS WILL NOT WORK). Lemonade will work. It will work well. If the engine is very hot, wait for it to cool enough to remove the cap. Start the engine and slowly pour in the lemonade (POWDERED MIX WILL NOT WORK UNLESS YOU HAVE A BLOWN HEAD GASKET). Topping off the radiator with Lemonade, you’re on your way. You will notice a difference right away. Your car will love it. SUB-TIP: Don't shut it off until you get back home, or it will gel up on you.

  8. I've heard those Colorado members are a bit weird. TIP: Nothing you can do about that.

  9. My car isn't show quality, what should I do? TIP: If it's just dirty, wash it. What can you feasibly do between now and time to leave? Get it done. If it isn't enough consider the modified class. The fewer things that are perfect the better you will score.

  10. What if the judges look underneath and see  my dirty undercarriage? TIP: On your way to the show select routes that involve road repair and drive over fresh oil. Many times the judge can't tell the difference.    

  I hope these helpful tips will make your trip more enjoyable and your 2001 Nationals will be a pleasant memory you will talk about for many years.  I encourage each and everyone of you to consider planning your family vacation around this trip to Colorado. We have some wonderful sights and great attractions. I wish we had time to include more of them into our busy show schedule. I look forward to meeting all of you.

March 2025

Since this is a car club. One of our missions is to provide information. For many of you who change their own oil, this article might be important. As usual my main objective it to teach the correct way of doing a job. I do this by pointing out how it can go horribly wrong. I will begin by saying when you remove the oil filter the first thing to do is check to see if the old filter gasket is still clinging to the housing. If you put a new filter on top of an old gasket, you now have 2 gaskets. This sounds like over sealing. Problem is the gaskets will eventually creep out from the position. Sometimes it will cause a minor leak, which if detected can be remedied with no severe consequence. In the case of the 2017 Hyundai Tuscon, it may tend to pop out and immediately pump the contents of the oil pan onto the road. The good news is this particular engine will immediately shut down when the pressure drops. The bad news is it shuts down by seizing, never to rotate again. That’s all I have to say about that.

July 2024

MARBLE MYSTERY

There once was a man from Nantucket,

Who kept his marbles in a bucket

Oh, wrong poem. This is a story of how curiosity killed the cat or how collecting is not always fun or profitable. Your President for the past few years has been consumed with curiosity concerning the contents of the rattle can. Sure, we all know there is paint in there, but what causes the rattle when you shake it. He began cutting the empties open to find marbles, and ball bearings. So far there has not been one cat eye marble. Alas this story went boringly mediocre once he found the procedure. He tilted the can in the vise to allow the paint to run to the top end. He would then use the hacksaw to cut into the bottom of the can, enough to allow the propellant to escape. Once that had dissipated, he would remove the bottom of the can, dump out the remaining paint and retrieve the marble. It all gave him a true sense of self-worth. Now we come to the paint apocalypse. He finally cleaned out the cabinet that contained the aerosol paint cans, because there had been a major leak, and all the cans were stuck to the shelf and whenever he grabbed a can it did not work anyway. He cleaned and repainted the shelf and checked all of the cans to ensure that they still worked. Testing all the cans is tiring on the carpal tunnel, not to mention all the fumes. Once done, he was left with a dozen aerosol cans that no longer worked and he could not have been happier. He covered the bench and vise with paper in preparation for an afternoon delight of recovering marbles of all types and sizes.

The first couple went totally as planned. The next 2 however did not give up easily. The first was a chrome paint which when punctured simply sprayed paint everywhere. It coated the shop stool, the bench paper and the floor as well as some on his clothes and shoes. The clean-up effort was a little less than fun. Then on to the next, which was like a Forest Green. It was a sight to behold. Old Faithful had nothing on this albeit small and seemingly empty can. It just would not stop From the Passing Mirror Tom Toronado spraying green paint which totally covered everything in its way again including his arms and the floor. The rest went in the trash, and I believe the fascination with paint can marbles may be over, at least as long as the memory lingers

December 2023

In all of these years I have been doing these articles I have focused on the trials and tribulations of your President Larry Ruppel. He has managed to screw up so many projects and repairs through his lack of knowledge and skills. I should be ashamed of myself, I suppose. I feel at this moment I must step out of my comfort zone and aim my article at a business, in the hopes that it will save someone from frustrations in the future. Many of you know that Bernie Steinburg recently lost his storage for his 2 classic Oldsmobiles. His 55/98 2dr hdtp was taken to Cheyenne by Mike Watson. Mike hoped to help get it back on the road after several years of sitting. The carburetor was the main issue. Mike sent the carb to Don’s Carb service in Arvada to be rebuilt. After a $300 rebuild he re-installed it but had no shots of fuel from the accelerator pump. He sent it back for inspection. Don’s fixed and returned it. The result was the same as before. Without this extra shot of fuel there is a considerable flat spot when trying to speed up. Larry and Roger Opfer went to Cheyenne and hauled the car to Larry’s garage. With the help of Rick Lane who is very knowledgeable about these carbs and has a stash of parts, he and Larry managed to get the car running well. The old gas was drained and replaced, which helped smooth it out. The carb was removed and disassembled several times to fix many issues it should not have had. It certainly appeared that a complete rebuild could not have been done on it by Don. It was discovered that the check balls were reversed and one had to be replaced completely. The needle which meters the fuel inlet was old and worn out. The accelerator pump was not the correct size and did not even go down in the bore. All of these parts are included in a new carb kit which is available for that carb. Either he put some of the old parts back in or simply replaced them with old ones he happened to have , we are not sure. We are sure that a new rebuild kit was not installed. Sorry Don, just can’t give you an A+ rating.

July 2023

The CLUB Saga continues. Larry's neighbor had a friend, who put The CLUB on her car because it had been stolen 3 times and recovered. Their next attempt resulted in ruining the steering column and rendering The CLUB lock mechanism useless. When the tow truck arrived, he was unable to take the car for repair because he could not remove The CLUB. Larry sent his neighbor over with the grinder to cut off yet another CLUB.

Now I can report on the Ruppel’s trip to Wisconsin for the NAOC Nationals. It started months ago when Larry noticed his custom rocker switch for the 442 ignition seemed to be intermittent. He had 3 extra switches and decided he would have to replace it. He wasn't too concerned as he had 2 in the trunk toolbox and one he kept seeing in the shop toolbox. This Spring he knew it was time to replace it, since it would shut the car down without warning. When the day came to do it he was unable to find any of the above switches. He proceeded to order another dozen to be sure. The time slipped by until the night before leaving for Wisconsin. The process began with removing the overhead console and popping out the old one and unplugging the wires. Then he discovered the new switches were too small, yes, all twelve. The wires were plugged back in, and it was popped back in. Switched on the indicator did not light up. The 2 outer wires were switched, and all seemed good. Console back in and car packed up. Fast forward 10 hrs. Everything done, hop in the car, adjust the mirror which comes off in his hand and he throws it in the back seat. Activate the switch, hit the starter only cranking no firing. Starting fluid, still no firing. Everything was quickly tossed into the Yukon. First it needed gas. But before we get gas, let's turn around and grab those chairs we forgot. Ah the tank is full, and that reminds him he should go back and grab a credit card for the road. Not a bad first day, I'd say.

June 2023

I got a late start to Canon City this past weekend. I missed out on the pouring rain the entire way. I missed out on going to the junk yard with the president, Rick Lane and Roger Opfer. I also missed the dinner at Alpine Lodge in Westcliffe. I did pick up some stories about Larry, Roger and Rick going over to the Dickmans on Sat after the junk yard and were able to fix a few more of the electrical details on Ralph’s car. This is what a car club is all about. But the point of this article begins with some important information concerning classic car security. What can you do to keep someone from stealing your car when you attend one of these events? The simple answer is, nothing. That’s right, if someone wants to take your car they will take your car. All of the gadgets you can buy, all of the security system decals you can apply and all of the tricks you install to thwart the determined car thief are only meant to keep the honest people from stealing your car. The main thing they accomplish is making it very difficult for you to enjoy your own vehicle. Let’s say you bought one of the most common deterrents available “The Club”. The club is very recognizable, it’s been around for years. People think they are quite effective. I happen to think they are an annoyance. What if you were trying to flee from kidnappers? You can’t just jump in your car and turn the key unless you plan on jest proceeding in a straight line. You first have to remove the club. This situation came up this weekend, (not the kidnapping version). It’s the version where you buy the club to secure your car until you are ready to head off to the car show, only to find that you have lost both keys. One of our unnamed high ranking club members, has now lived thru this nightmare. Time to go, lost his keys to the club, what to do. This is when our President set his own plans of getting to the car show on time to stay behind and drive the unnamed individual to Home Depot to buy and Ryobi 18V rechargeable 3 ½ grinder. Did you know that on the bright side those batteries come with half a charge. After covering the whole inside of the car with blankets to protect it from the flying sparks, it took much less than a minute to grind right thru that club and detach it from the steering wheel. This has been a public service announcement to update on the frugality of securing your car. President Larry finds it cheaper and more secure to have a car that no one wants to steal. I applaud him for that. Ask your insurance company why you don’t get a discount for using the Club.